Friday, July 17, 2009

9 Years old! A story to be told!

It was a breezy autumn morning when I opened my eyes. It was dead silent, no one was awake. I dragged my self out of bed. Realising it was my birthday, this made me move faster. I didn’t want to greet my friends in pyjamas! When I finished brushing my teeth, I dashed to the living room to get my clothes. But I wasn’t fast enough, my mum had seen me sprint past her bedroom. She whispered to me to come closer and then she said “ Get changed, and happy birthday 9 year old!”. I got changed and sat there looking at our big pile of washing, thinking how we could get rid of it. After 19 or 20 minutes it got boring so I switched on the TV! Unfortunatley, nothing happened, so I tried again! Still nothing happened! Then I froze and straight away I knew the problem. It was my brother , Tanielu had switched the plug off. He says that he likes to save power. I flicked the switch and the TV felt the power. When it turned on, it blasted my ears!! I thought my family would come charging in to the living room and shout “ HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!”.But no one came . I fell back on to the couch and turned down the volume down and changed the channel to 41 (Nickelodeon). After quite a long time my family were dressed and ready. My dad and I were about to take off to pick up Selena when Angela arrived! “ Hi Angela!” I say excitedly. “ Hi Reka.” Angela whispers as well as giving me an envelope. Inside I was bursting! I just wanted to tear it open, like a terrifying bear on the loose! “ Toreka, Why don’t you bring Angela with you?” aksed my mum. I nodded my head to say yes. Angela and I raced to the van and hopped in. We strolled along the road as my dad saw Seini-Mino’s car roll down our drive. Followed by Seini-Mino’s car came Ala’s. Now all we needed was Sylvia...


  1. What a fantastic piece of writing Toreka. You kept me interested the whole way through with your great way of spinning a yarn. But you left me hanging..... I hope Part 2 is on the way because I want to know what you did for your party. Maybe you should just write the next instalment in the comments.
    Oh, and HAPPY Birthday!
    love from Mrs Burt

  2. Toreka, that's an awesome piece of writing. It's really expressive and shows real creativity in the way you tell the story. I want to read the rest and find out what happens next!
    Happy Birthday 9 Year Old!

  3. Talofa Toreka, happy belated 9th birthday!
    Well after this mornings assembly I couldn't wait to read about your birthday recount and just like Mr and Mrs Burt, I think its fantastic! You are a fluent and superb writer. I especially like the way you've used alot of speech and descriptive language to express your thoughts and ideas. You definately kept me, (the reader) hooked and interested in your experience. I do hope, if you have time to finish your piece of writing because I'd love to hear about what happens at your party!
    Keep up the good work Toreka.
    Love Mrs Tuala

  4. Hi Toreka

    What a wonderful story. I really liked how you made your story interesting by adding lots of speech. I really the bit where you said "I thought my family will come and shout out HAPPY BIRTHDAY" it was so funny that time. I will come back on your blog when you have finished this story because I am really excited to hear the the rest of this story. Keep up the good work.

    Your Sincerely Mubasshira

  5. Wow!Toreka what a wonderful story.I really like your story how you made it look intersting and by the way i was hook into your writing and how you also said a terrflying bear on the loose that was so funny.I will be back to see if you have done some more great writing.

    Keep it up.

  6. Hi Toreka what a great story you have written.i like the way how you use some intersting word was funny when you though your famliy was going to shout at you HAPPY by the way keep up the great work.